Pain

Pain is what I feel all again..

Pain is what I see everywhere..

Every inch of me is immersed in intense body pain..

And, all that can be seen is my physical suffering..

But...!

What about the pain I feel in my heart??

I carry pain in my heart..but still gather the courage to spread happiness to my near and dear ones..

I act strong, 

I act unaffected,

I act as if there's nothing that could hurt me or break me or steal my courage..

But deep inside, I'm dying..

I'm losing hope,

I'm hoping that my savior will come and rescue me..

But this day never comes..

And then I think again.. Why can't I rescue myself again as have always..

But I don't get an answer..

Don't know why..

This never happens with me..

I always have answers to anything and everything..

And, then, I think..

And found out that that this time I'm ready to give up..

Give up on everything..

Give up on my dreams, aspirations, wants, and what not..

And, then, I was taken aback..

Because...

I realized that for the first time in my life..

I'm ready to give up on myself..

And have no solid reason to support this decision of mine..

I have to think.. Think hard and hard..

To find the answer for this..

And..

When I do..

I have to make sure that I don't give up on myself again... EVER..